Develop by killing your darlings

Have you ever thought about what goodbyes do to us? How something that is so clear to us from a distance becomes harder the closer we get to the final destination? Even when we know we are on the right way and that there are new amazing things waiting for us just around the corner. Perhaps even something that is necessary for us to be able to continue to develop as humans.

I do not think I’m the only one who’s experienced a feeling of grief when having these closures. We can get overwhelmed by the feeling that exactly this isn’t something I will experience again. I think that these feelings tell us that this is something that’s been really good, really important to us. They don’t tell us to reconsider and stay. No, I think they’re telling us to halt and enjoy that bittersweet taste. Dare to actually feel the feeling and let it embrace us for a moment. And then take the step that we know will lead us forward. With the insight that what we’re leaving behind has contributed to becoming the persons we are today.

What if it’s the same thing with the conclusions we have about ourselves? About our surrounding world? What if we have darlings inside just waiting to be killed? And that we protect them from ourselves. Because we’re afraid of what happens when we say goodbye. At Gaia Leadership we call it our sacrifice – the things we need to let go of to be able to keep developing.

But how does this get visible to us? How do we allow ourselves to let go? I think it’s about increasing your self-awareness. This we can do in different ways. By asking for feedback. Make sure we have time for reflection and mindfulness. By curiosity and the will to explore the things inside that keeps resisting.

Coaching is a very powerful way to achieve all of it. I as your coach is your partner in your struggle to see what you need to see. I support you to see different paths forward. And I back you up when you’re gathering the courage to move forward towards your goal. I hold you responsible for your commitments.

Because development is something best done with help from others. Because your success is my success.

Jenny Nyström
Partner at Gaia Leadership

Read more about coaching.

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